Seriously
Well okay I finally lost enough inches to be able to sit close enough to the keyboard to "type" yes it it s a well known fact I type about as well as Tiger keeps it in his pants.
Happy Holidays - Merry Xmas - Happy Hanukkah - Happy Kwanzaa - Merry Festivus
did I offend everyone? well that brings me to the purpose of my post....
When did we become such arrogant bastards that the act of someone wishes us well, or glad tidings arouse such anger in our minds that we rant and rave?
it's Merry Christmas not Happy Holidays you idiot....
Hey if someone wants to wish me good tidings I should accept them right? I thought so....
then I started to think in the manner I normally do and I said "Hey wait - do I really like people projecting their beliefs on me? "
i.e. You do not know me from Adam so you being in a jolly jovial frame of mind fell driven to share this heart felt wonder with me. You spout off what you either believe is my belief driven theme for the Holidays or yours...Merry Xmas. You feel better as you have just bestowed on me some sort of token of good will towards your fellow man. I being the hypothetical jackass take umbrage as I being Pagan for that moment only celebrate Festivus and therefore do not recognize the supposed birth of Christ as being Dec 25th . Insulted by your lack of sensitivity to my beliefs and enraged by the audacity you have to try and project your beliefs upon me, I offer you as a burnt sacrifice to the gods.
So I now am in opposition to my original feelings about this exchange of good will.
tsk tsk - I despite being proud of my ability to play devil's advocate have undermined my own desire to lighten the mood of the world. Why can't we take a simple exchange of good tidings and accept them for that???? Wouldn't it be a better place to live in this whimsical bliss of a society?
Think about it - if someone, anyone, wished you whatever it was to make you happy, should you accept it? Who cares if they said it in some phrase or language that made no sense to you.
FlaFlansah !!!!
So my advice and original intent stands - get your head out of your ass and wake up to the fact there might be a moment where someone truly wishes you good will, if only for a second.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Ho Ho Holy poop it costs a lot for Christmas
Well it is that blessed time of year again.....
hey sleigh bells ring-a-ling, cash registers sing-a-ling ,as we spend the corporate doll-a-lol-ar.
okay I can't write a carol to save Al Yankovic's shiny white bum....( bad visual image and I am just guessing what it looks like so correct me if I am wrong )
But seriously what happened to the days of yore when Christmas time was all about the spirit of giving and the joy of receiving....for it is now a time of bean counting and score keeping.
****I gave her a $XX.XX sweater and all she got me was this lousy $X.XX snuggie ****
/laughs to himself (Whats was that R&V ? /scoffs you thought someone might hear a Capricorn at X-mas) (Sorry I needed to needle you about something and I know you truly love the... wait for it .... angels making that heavenly sound AAAH-AAH Snuggie)
Everything has changed. I miss my beloved cartoon / claymation christmas specials. The island of misfit toys, Bumbles bounce don't you know, and the burgermister misterburger to name a few.
Prep & Landing WTH is that?????
Okay maybe I am being a little rigid and olde fashion but really wasn't the stuff I grew up on Good Enough???
The light competitions, the sales starting in July, really now folks what is it all about anymore ? keeping up with the Jones'?
I miss the magic, the pure joy of it all. I truly expect this year to see someone text me from next to the tree, thanking me for their gift.
Our youth has lost their conversations skills to texting. They are drones to corporate America only interested in the monetary gain of the holiday.
OMG my co-worker told me his daughter did not yell down last night to say "Good Night Mom & Dad" she did a sms text to landline instead. Bring Ring - hello - this is a text message from 555-555-1212 "Goodnight Mom & Dad" - did anyone see R&V just twitch, seriously did she?
Well call me Scrooge , Grinch , Charlie in the Box - whatever.... I am not against Christmas or a pouty poopey lip. I just want the true meaning of Christmas back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey sleigh bells ring-a-ling, cash registers sing-a-ling ,as we spend the corporate doll-a-lol-ar.
okay I can't write a carol to save Al Yankovic's shiny white bum....( bad visual image and I am just guessing what it looks like so correct me if I am wrong )
But seriously what happened to the days of yore when Christmas time was all about the spirit of giving and the joy of receiving....for it is now a time of bean counting and score keeping.
****I gave her a $XX.XX sweater and all she got me was this lousy $X.XX snuggie ****
/laughs to himself (Whats was that R&V ? /scoffs you thought someone might hear a Capricorn at X-mas) (Sorry I needed to needle you about something and I know you truly love the... wait for it .... angels making that heavenly sound AAAH-AAH Snuggie)
Everything has changed. I miss my beloved cartoon / claymation christmas specials. The island of misfit toys, Bumbles bounce don't you know, and the burgermister misterburger to name a few.
Prep & Landing WTH is that?????
Okay maybe I am being a little rigid and olde fashion but really wasn't the stuff I grew up on Good Enough???
The light competitions, the sales starting in July, really now folks what is it all about anymore ? keeping up with the Jones'?
I miss the magic, the pure joy of it all. I truly expect this year to see someone text me from next to the tree, thanking me for their gift.
Our youth has lost their conversations skills to texting. They are drones to corporate America only interested in the monetary gain of the holiday.
OMG my co-worker told me his daughter did not yell down last night to say "Good Night Mom & Dad" she did a sms text to landline instead. Bring Ring - hello - this is a text message from 555-555-1212 "Goodnight Mom & Dad" - did anyone see R&V just twitch, seriously did she?
Well call me Scrooge , Grinch , Charlie in the Box - whatever.... I am not against Christmas or a pouty poopey lip. I just want the true meaning of Christmas back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Your sole purpose in the Universe is ?????
Well maybe that is a little misleading but you with get the point by the time I am done.
Perhaps Captain Obvious would have been a good title also but I digress....so on to the party.
What is it with people and places that just don't get it?
example #1 -
Drive-thru teller: May I take your order?
You: Toasted Chicken Club Sandwich
Them: Would you like cheese?
You: Please
Them: Mustard, Mayo, or Honey-Mustard?
You: Mustard
Them: Would you like it toasted?
You: ***sound of shotgun being cocked*** what did I order idiot? Toasted Chicken Club - doesn't that imply toasted?
example #2 -
Them: Welcome to KFC can I take your order?
You: Yes I would like a 3 piece dinner..
Them: I'm sorry sir/ma'am we are out of chicken.
You: ....
You: ....
You: .... /stare /glance at the sign above the door /stare
You: I'm sorry did you say your out of chicken?
Them: /annoyed Yes!
You: Exactly what is the purpose of this food outlet? Chicken! and your out? Hmmmm ... what else could you fail to achieve today? breathing? existence? cognitive thought? Are you kidding me? No Chicken? ( this never actually came out of my mouth but it has been in my head ever since.)
They should have just put a closed sign in the window that read..."Closed because we are stupid and have no chicken even though it is the only thing we do."
Oh and for the record I am not the only person to experience this nor was it a one time thing.
I can understand if you had some moronic sale like 5 pieces free if you can tell us what well are supposed to sell here and the whole world came by. I mean even Popeye's brings an extra truckload in for their big sales. However this was just an average day.
I guess Darwin didn't count on the Fast food industry screwing up the "Survival of the fittest" theory. It is amazing that we have evolved so far and yet have these microcosms of complete brain failure that are so prevalent in society.
Okay your task now is to learn your purpose and not screw it up.
P.S. Fathers your sole purpose is to keep your daughter of the pole. (thanks Chris Rock)
Perhaps Captain Obvious would have been a good title also but I digress....so on to the party.
What is it with people and places that just don't get it?
example #1 -
Drive-thru teller: May I take your order?
You: Toasted Chicken Club Sandwich
Them: Would you like cheese?
You: Please
Them: Mustard, Mayo, or Honey-Mustard?
You: Mustard
Them: Would you like it toasted?
You: ***sound of shotgun being cocked*** what did I order idiot? Toasted Chicken Club - doesn't that imply toasted?
example #2 -
Them: Welcome to KFC can I take your order?
You: Yes I would like a 3 piece dinner..
Them: I'm sorry sir/ma'am we are out of chicken.
You: ....
You: ....
You: .... /stare /glance at the sign above the door /stare
You: I'm sorry did you say your out of chicken?
Them: /annoyed Yes!
You: Exactly what is the purpose of this food outlet? Chicken! and your out? Hmmmm ... what else could you fail to achieve today? breathing? existence? cognitive thought? Are you kidding me? No Chicken? ( this never actually came out of my mouth but it has been in my head ever since.)
They should have just put a closed sign in the window that read..."Closed because we are stupid and have no chicken even though it is the only thing we do."
Oh and for the record I am not the only person to experience this nor was it a one time thing.
I can understand if you had some moronic sale like 5 pieces free if you can tell us what well are supposed to sell here and the whole world came by. I mean even Popeye's brings an extra truckload in for their big sales. However this was just an average day.
I guess Darwin didn't count on the Fast food industry screwing up the "Survival of the fittest" theory. It is amazing that we have evolved so far and yet have these microcosms of complete brain failure that are so prevalent in society.
Okay your task now is to learn your purpose and not screw it up.
P.S. Fathers your sole purpose is to keep your daughter of the pole. (thanks Chris Rock)
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Domonick vs. Rudolff
Well it's not the post I promised R&V but it is very appropirate for this time of year....
This is an old Italian XMas tune and I just love the way these guys did a tribute to it.
Enjoy
This is an old Italian XMas tune and I just love the way these guys did a tribute to it.
Enjoy
Thursday, November 5, 2009
winter is nigh
It is that season again and Jack has been breathing at the back of my neck. It is with mixed emotions that I welcome him.
I do so miss the sun on my face, but the cuddling time is nigh. It is a time when two, so close as to share the same place, can say nothing and in that so much.
The silence is comforting.
The rhythm of two hearts eases the tension and melts the cold grasp stress places on us.
Warmth shared as it was your own.
Leave the troubles of the world at the door to be washed away with the snow melting from your boots.
Join me.
We shall make paradise midst the throws and cushions of the couch and await the warmth of the Spring.
I do so miss the sun on my face, but the cuddling time is nigh. It is a time when two, so close as to share the same place, can say nothing and in that so much.
The silence is comforting.
The rhythm of two hearts eases the tension and melts the cold grasp stress places on us.
Warmth shared as it was your own.
Leave the troubles of the world at the door to be washed away with the snow melting from your boots.
Join me.
We shall make paradise midst the throws and cushions of the couch and await the warmth of the Spring.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
oh bugger me
Out in the Park, on the bike, the chain whipping past
The last throws of summer, before the chilling winter blast.
The squirrels run amuck through the leaves loud as thunder
Are they having fun, yes this thought I do wonder.
I saw a murder in the Park, of course it was crows
And I must have counted 20 or 30 of those.
The sound is was haunting, eerie, spooky, yet cool
I can tell that old Alfred was far from a fool.
The light is waning and night draws closer still
Remember these thoughts, I always will.
Don’t you hate trying to write poetry? It seems like you get stuck in this silly rhyming and it never ends. I know that there are other styles and I never seem to find the time to actually explore them enough to learn their form. Sometimes I just want to capture those feelings in words for posterity sake.
The last throws of summer, before the chilling winter blast.
The squirrels run amuck through the leaves loud as thunder
Are they having fun, yes this thought I do wonder.
I saw a murder in the Park, of course it was crows
And I must have counted 20 or 30 of those.
The sound is was haunting, eerie, spooky, yet cool
I can tell that old Alfred was far from a fool.
The light is waning and night draws closer still
Remember these thoughts, I always will.
Don’t you hate trying to write poetry? It seems like you get stuck in this silly rhyming and it never ends. I know that there are other styles and I never seem to find the time to actually explore them enough to learn their form. Sometimes I just want to capture those feelings in words for posterity sake.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
not again....
Well I guess it was always inevitable, I mean after all it is my mind.
Needed sleep before going back into work.
Settled in and told myself...."We need to get some sleep"
the next 3 hours where like Sunday dinner at an Italian Families house...( No Offense because you will agree it is true)
It was like 20 different conversations all going on at the same time with each one competing to be heard over the rest. Each one escalating louder and louder.
Oh sure three was the occasional pause as a new course came out, but it was short lived and then back at it full bore.
It has been awhile and perhaps I though ( mistakenly of course ) that I could simple quiet them all and get a short nap, but I was WRONG.
It was like trying to rationalize with a bunch of two year old children. Although they may have been more receptive.
I thought I would just revisit this here since my friend R&V always laugh about "Just do it" or "Just breathe"
well off to argue with the minions once again
Needed sleep before going back into work.
Settled in and told myself...."We need to get some sleep"
the next 3 hours where like Sunday dinner at an Italian Families house...( No Offense because you will agree it is true)
It was like 20 different conversations all going on at the same time with each one competing to be heard over the rest. Each one escalating louder and louder.
Oh sure three was the occasional pause as a new course came out, but it was short lived and then back at it full bore.
It has been awhile and perhaps I though ( mistakenly of course ) that I could simple quiet them all and get a short nap, but I was WRONG.
It was like trying to rationalize with a bunch of two year old children. Although they may have been more receptive.
I thought I would just revisit this here since my friend R&V always laugh about "Just do it" or "Just breathe"
well off to argue with the minions once again
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