Paraprosdokian

Although I didn't write these I thought it would be nice to share them.

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish. Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".
Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Ø There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

The unbelievable ability to ruin a day

Sun shines upon the clean slate of the day... the future waiting to be written.

I step from the door and I am reminded of you.
You are the gum on the sidewalk, chewed up, used and spat out, unwanted anymore.

Yet you cling to my sole and bring me down, distracting my gaze from the beauty in the world as I am obsessed with removing you from it.

Why are you so persistent why must you haunt me so.

the Word and its Power

Disjointed Interaction…detracts from the content and complex beauty of conversation or debate.
The Give and take, push and shove in a fluid exchange, feeds the energy.
It breaths life into the situation allowing it to blossom into something more than just mere words.

Facebook and Twitter do not foster this.
The life force dies as the responses wait for their rebuttal.

Written word or recorded voice fade in their power as time passes between exchanges.


Powerful statements stand the test of time…however, is a conversation a statement, although profound thoughts can arise from them?

Cast me out from amongst you....

I do not fit into your pigeon-holes or predetermined figures. I am who I am - your approval isn't needed !!!!

I wear many hats, the court jester, the scholar, the philosopher, the poet, the romantic and the fool. I will dig your ditch and make you feel at ease as your laugh at my antics.

But try as you might I am the square peg in the round hole.

I maybe what you need, but not what you want.

Do not fret and worry for I do not when it comes to this.

I ask only that you do not try and make me conform to your wishes, for it is the end of me.

shackle the wind and stifle its voice, dam up the stream and risk the flood that ensues when it can be held back no more.

Leave it as it is intended to be and enjoy the beauty that it has!

Me, take it for all its worth as it is.

I am who I am !

psych

Well felt like writing..... not sure what.... I was supposed to get a journal and hand write some stuff every day.


Hasn't happened yet....

inactivity is contagious and I can't seem to overcome the inertia that has built up....


I think I will just .....

Naw it isn't happening....maybe tomorrow.

at the core of it all!!!!!!!!

Well I had an revelation, not quite an epiphany, but a realization of sorts.

Somewhere deep in my soul I must still believe that people are good, of course there are exceptions but that is true of most things.

I a bizarre dream I was thrust into the "Best Man" role at a complete strangers wedding... there were many strange details that do not seem relevant at this point so I will not describe them here.

I had nothing to base the speech on. No prior knowledge of the couple and their interactions or intimate anecdotes. I knew neither of them.

Compounded by the fact on the surface I am scorned, soured to people's intentions I was anxious and uneasy with this daunting task.

Somehow, something in me authored a speech that left not one eye dry and so embodied the true spirit of Love that I awoke astonished.

That internal light bulb had clicked on and I was made aware again that I am the hopeless romantic still.

Give yourself completely everyday to your love, but expect there will be days when they cannot. Take comfort in the fact they will do the same.
Be who you are and take that leap of faith in all things. You have found the one whom will catch you if you fall.

I wish I could have remembered it all. It was heartfelt , pure, and inspiring.

It has reminded me of the goodness in the world and encouraged me to shrug off the coats of cynicism and disconnection. To toss aside the goggles of skepticism and doubt through which I examine the world.

I can breathe deep again and feel renewed.

Not quite from Young Frankenstein....

He's Alive.......

Okay so maybe that's not the line, but it popped into my head so there you have it as the title.

You don't want excuses and you don't want drivel so I guess I move on to the next subject. Okay wait ... Yes I realize it has been a while but really aren't there times where you just don't feel like doing all the things you are supposed to do also????? Seriously?

I want to wish well to my friends, especially R&V on her new venture. I will miss her posts (an honestly I am a little upset that she has done something to her blog so none of them show up at all) Erma B would at least post re-runs while she was away....

I don't feel guilty, or to bad, because I know some other people that haven't been blogging as religiously as they used to... Okay I admit I can't even fall into their category because they post more often than I do.

OMG - I have been distracted so easily lately that I can barely even get through this half assed attempt at a blog without losing direction.

Well maybe tomorrow....

writers block

....so I sit here having the most wonderful Espresso Martini as I reflect upon the the days that have recently passed.

Unhappy with the quality perhaps, of course then again I am my biggest critic. The problem I have admittedly is that my best ideas and work come to me when I am in the most inconvenient places. Half asleep, in the car, in the shower, no where that I have pen no paper to record such witty expressions worthy of your reading.

Frustrated that I cannot live up to my own expectations....

Inspired by some of the people I follow... wishing I could regain the joie d'vie to write passionately.

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the phone rang and the NTSB needs to come in because my train of thought has been derailed and there is a catastrophe in my head.

thoughts and ideas, fragmented, shattered, dismembered and disemboweled.


...the disappointing recurrence of late.

.. alas poor Yorick he too like my ideas has passed.

in due time - Spring Cleaning

Ideas they once were a plenty upon the tree of life, yet now as in winter they have dried and withered from the branch. Now fallen, hurried away by the stark winter winds never to be seen again…

…this is the story retold time and time again in my mind. Some seed sprouts and takes root. Lest I tend to it quickly, nurturing, it succumbs to the detritus of everyday life and once buried it becomes stifled and its muffled cries to be heard go unnoticed. Perhaps one day I will stumble upon it again. Hopefully then it will flourish rapidly, again exposed to the sunlight!

I long for the exhilaration of a conversation, posting of some astute individual, or intellectual debate to clean house in my mind.

“Take out the trash!”

Throw back the curtains drawn closed by the numbness of the mundane. Let in that energy, the sunshine, that has been deprived allowing the seeds to flourish and blossom into something beautiful for me to share.

Johari Window

Okay so you all know I stole this idea from R&V but anyways.....


Ponti's Johari Window Click on me

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.
You are his life, his love, his leader.
He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.
You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
- Anonymous

My Dear friend it has been awhile since we sat in the company of each other. I regret this and feel remiss, but do not doubt that you are ever far from my thoughts.

It seems so long since I gazed into your eyes and saw your unequivocal love.
Recollection brings tears to my eyes…there were times we disagreed, but they seem faded and distant. The good memories are crowding them out and their glow casts the un-pleasantries further into the shadows. I am not ready to say goodbye, or face the fact we shall have no chance to create more memories together…

I will evermore remember you and each time I will wipe a tear from my eye. It will be one born from mixed emotions. Joyous and yet tainted with sadness for each memory will bring back our time together and fill my heart warmly, but all to soon it will remind me that you are gone and once again the cold pain shall pierce me to the core.

Be well…and hold dear in your heart that you have touched my soul, shown unto me the truth in love unconditional. I will always remember you and wonder if I was worthy to share your time.

elusive bastard

...it mocks me. It is the evil twin of the balmy summer breeze. They both stand in the wings and laugh boisterously as I search for them. The icy grip of winter has replaced the comfort of the warmer months and now sleep has run away as well.

Night has become a parade of monodramas. Some more bizarre than the rest leave me puzzled at mornings arrival. It is the type of stuff that even makes late late night TV seem normal.

Why does sleep mock me so? Darting about like a sparrow hunting insects in the freshly mown grass. Swift, unpredictable, yet gracefully elusive.

The days are short and light fades fast. It will not be long before the dance will begin again....

the questioned posed...we it be caught tonight?