I just told someone that my life is a fabrication. We were discussing "Reality Shows" - not documentaries (the only true reality show for even the news has a spin on it). Everything is scripted for an audience and a desired outcome - Cheesy if you ask me.
"Really" they replied "how is your life a fabrication?"
preface #1) Things I write on my blog are based on a myriad of things: emotions I am feeling now, emotions that I recall from the past, factoids from current relationships, creative musings that I think will color the story and even sarcasm. All of these things are then rolled around in my head until something I feel artistic is created, then it is edited somewhat to protect my actual identity or reality. Sure you can read into things and make assumptions, it is easy to because a lot of what I write is based on true events...but beware I do cloud things and alter details to hide the reality of it all.
preface #2) Life is what happens while your planning other things... really think about it because it is so true. Life doesn't stop until all the details of your week are finalized, it is a dynamic occurrence where you react to the moment and things occur even while you plan the next desired event.
... So back to my statement. My life is a fabrication of things I would like to occur. Merriam- Webster defines fabrication as the act or result of fabricating.
Main Entry:
fab·ri·cate
Pronunciation:
\ˈfa-bri-ˌkāt\
Function:
transitive verb
Inflected Form(s):
fab·ri·cat·ed; fab·ri·cat·ing
Etymology:
Middle English, from Latin fabricatus, past participle of fabricari, from fabrica
Date:
15th century
1 a: invent, create b: to make up for the purpose of deception
— fab·ri·ca·tor \ˈfa-bri-ˌkā-tər\ noun
My life is a fabrication. It is constructed from diverse and usually standardized parts. It is also some what of a lie, the story of my life doesn't always get told true to the letter, nor does yours I suspect. We leave out certain facts and occurrences we wish to forget. Sometimes we tell it to make people think we are happy, sometimes it is to convince ourselves we are happy. Memories are how we recall the event and that can be subjective to how we feel now and how we felt then.
My life has not been what I envisioned it would be. That all came crashing down and now it is time to rebuild from the wreckage. I am creating or fabricating a new one and I am also trying to forget the old one.
I am fabricating my story to allow my true self to shine through, because what actually occurred seems to hamper my ability to be me.
p.s. don't forget the preface.
Rebuild from the wreckage and shine on. We'll be reading....
ReplyDeleteI liked this write up - and I understood every word you said. More accurately, what you meant by it.
ReplyDeleteIt's the old adage:
The world does not stop revolving.and...
Your life is what you make of it.Whatever anyone wants to become, they have to start by playing the part.
I'm one of those people that don't believe a person ever really changes. They don't. What CAN change, however, is habits.
I'm going to try not to fail miserably with an example, though I know it's not a very good one.
- Someone wants to be happy.
- Their habits aren't making them happy; so they're miserable (or, less than happy).
- They change their habits to reflect things that will make them happy.
- The ABILITY to BE happy was always there in the first place.
You're a fairly solemn person like I am (my perception - feel free to tell me I'm wrong and I'll take you at your word, you know you better than I do). You're reflective. You're a thinker.
Out there, there are naturally bubbly people. The kind that isn't effected by outside factors in life.
You and I are never going to BE those kinds of people *naturally* (nor should we be).
We both carry the weight of the world on our shoulders sometimes - and that's OKAY. Not that circumstances can't make us happy - but it's not ever going to be our default setting.
I don't even strive for happy.
I strive for CONTENT.
To me, happy is a state of mind reserved for drunk people and dreamers. It's a fleeting emotion that I don't pack a whole lot of faith in.
If I can take a step back though and look at my life and go, "I'm okay with all of this" - then I'm content.
That's good enough for me.
You may be shooting for a little more than I am, I don't know. Everyone has their own needed level of things.
All I do KNOW, is that whatever it is - it should be honest.
smiles
And why the fuck isn't there an edit button on this site. I had that all formatted and it looked correct in the preview.
ReplyDeletebastards
R&V: There is a preview, but then you can't go back. A flaw to be investigated.
ReplyDeleteRegarding the following: Wow! Someone who thinks like me!
I don't even strive for happy.
I strive for CONTENT.
P&I: And I usually attain it.
PM: R&V seems to think you can do it (whatever that is), and she knows better than I. So go do it and blog about it!
Yes. It's irritating when it looks the right way in the preview and then decides to do whatever it wants after that.
ReplyDeletelaughs
And yes, I believe 'Content' is a very tangible thing.
Hmmmmm. I understand what you are trying to convey, however I think everything that may make a difference in your life is right within your reach, reach out. I understand analytical very well but I think maybe you need to apply it less right now. Unless you've expierenced hurt you can never really know what it is to live or love the way you need to. You don't have to be complicated to attract what you want or need.
ReplyDelete